Death and Disclosure
by AnnCarter
Summary: Sam is now dead, and Jack and Emily mourn his death. 1X21.


**Name:** Death and Disclosure.

**Writer:** Ann.

**Fandom: **Revenge.

**Rating:** PG13.

**Pairing:** Jack & Amanda.

**Timeline:** 1X21.

**Summary:** Amanda and Jack mourn Sam. Jack also happens to find something out about her.

**Genre:** Angst/Friendship/Slight Romance.

**Others:** Just watched 1X21. Wow.

**All rights for Revenge are ABC's. Unfortunately they're not mine.**

* * *

She was crying.

Emily – or Amanda – couldn't remember the last time she cried. It must have been a long time ago, years before jail and her revenge. Yet as she watched her dog, the only one who recognized her when she returned, the last symbol of her past as Amanda Clark, die, she couldn't not to cry. She couldn't pretend she did not once again feel that pain of losing someone so close to her, regardless of what species he was. Whether it was her father or Sam, it did not matter. She cared about him, and now he was gone, died of older age than most dogs have lived to see.

She hugged Jack, who was crying as well, almost as much as she was. He remembered that time, too. He remembered Amanda and David Clark, remembered the summers he used to spend with them. They both remembered happier days, days of fun, laughter and sun. They remembered hanging out at the beach, running with Sam, or just sitting in the Clarks' house, playing whatever the kids wanted to play. They remembered those days, and mourned their loss as much as they mourned the loss of Sam, the last thing remaining from their past.

And then, somehow, Amanda's lips found Jack's, kissing him the way she wanted to do ever since she found out he was her childhood's friend. They kissed, both thrilled to have found that love and full of pain over the loss of their best friend. They kissed, forgetting Daniel, and the bar, and Declan, and life. To Amanda none of it mattered, not now, after what she lost. She has wanted to do it for months, and if there was anything in the world that would make her abandon her so-carefully-planned revenge, it was Sam's death.

They broke it eventually, their hands intertwined together. They weren't thinking – they were just living. Living the life Sam would never get to see.

"Amanda…" He murmured, and she wasn't sure if he wanted Amanda, wanted to forget about her, or realized that she was Amanda. She couldn't tell. There was very little she _could_ tell that moment.

"Amanda's gone," She found herself saying. "She was gone a long time ago."

"You seem to know her better than I do."

She did not look at him. Her other hand continued moving over Sam's far, unwilling to believe her dog was really dead. Thinking he made all that way in the small powers he had just to die there, in that house, with her, made her heart wrench. Despite what she wanted Nolan to believe, she could and did feel more than anger and the need for revenge. She felt something else every time she saw Sam and Jack and every time she remembered what good a friend Nolan has been to her. But this was something else. Jack and Amanda. The longtime friends… the ones that could have been lovers.

"I don't."

"You do." Somehow, Jack could still tell when she lied. Even after all that time, even after the way she had changed, he could still tell whenever she lied to him. It was as if he could see the truth somehow, as if he could somehow see the real Amanda behind all these masks she wore.

"Maybe."

"How do you know her so well?" He asked, and for a moment she thought he forgot of Sam's death. But the way he looked, so hurt and somewhat lost… it told her more than anything that he will not forget that, not until he dies. Nor will he ever forget Amanda.

"Because I am Amanda."

It was as if someone else was controlling her. Had it been different, had she been in control of herself, she would never have said to him something like that. But somehow, between all these feelings of her and the ones of his, the truth slipped out, forever ruining Emily's reputation as a great secret keeper.

"What?" He stared at her.

She almost smiled. Had it been different, if Sam wasn't lying by her feet, completely dead, she would have laughed. But then again, had it been different, she would not have said a word, not to Jack and not to anyone.

"I am Amanda Clark," she said slowly, unable to believe she was telling someone – and Jack, of all people – the truth.

For some reason, Jack seemed to believe her. He seemed shocked, unwilling to believe, but in his eyes she could see that somewhere inside, he knew it was the truth. The truth was, he knew it all along. He knew it, but preferred to deny it, to pretend like she was not the one he had loved since he was a child.

"That's why Sammy ran to you that day at the park," He said slowly, as he slowly realized what was really happening. "That's why he kept coming to your house, why he was always so happy to see you. That's why you two were so connected. He knew it was you. He recognized you."

She nodded. "He did."

He stared at her for a moment, amazed and still slightly refusing to believe. It was so weird for her to have the truth out in the open, to actually be able to look Jack in the eye and tell him that this really was who she was. And she could see how hard it was for him to try and fix everything in his mind, to try and figure out why she did what she did, and who was that other Amanda and how she knew all that she knew. It was easy to answer the last question, seeing as Amanda and Emily were close, probably close enough to be sharing secrets like those, especially in jail.

"He was a good friend," She said quietly, breaking Jack's trail of thoughts. She was looking at Sam again, unable to look away from the one who had been such a good friend to her for so many years. He wasn't as big a part of her life as it was of Jack's, but he still meant a lot to her, and so did Jack when she found out he really has been taking care of him all these years. "He was happy."

"Yes, he was." Jack's voice was once again filled with tears.

"He'll be missed." Her voice was soft, and so was her touch as she stroked the dog's head one last time. "Forever." Jack just nodded, unable to speak.

* * *

They buried him later, outside the beach house. They stood together in the dark night and looked at the grave, which was later filled by the sand they took out to make it. Their hands intertwined once again, and they stood still and stared at the open grave as they remembered their childhood and their lost love and friendship.


End file.
